Happy Holidays to all my readers and fans. I just looked at my post last year about Christmas tipping, check it out if you didn't see it.
My new year resolution for this year , is not to make fun of old guys dancing on the Men's room line, waiting to pee. It is amusing watching a bunch of guys over 50 doing the "pee dance". All sorts of creative steps, but they all keep to the basic move, of a hand in their pocket holding themselves. I think in crowded places like stadiums, theatres etc, there should be a special line for senior citizen men.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
When I was a kid growing up in E.N.Y. I went to elementary school P.S. 273 aka the Wortman School, we had a lot of fun. Kindergarten all I remember were 2 pretty teachers and making sand castles in the sand box. First grade got better, I had my first crush on Sue Ellen. I'm not sure if it was the cool red pencils she used to bring to school that got my attention. I got everyone's attention in 1st grade as i started my carreer in comedy, yes, I was the class clown. My report card confirmed that I was the "class clown". What an achievement. But Miss Glaser loved me anyway. 2nd grade the Ms Levinson was a little stricter and called my mother in to talk to her about my not paying attention in class. I was pretty funny though.
Third grade was a nightmare, Miss Bauman was a short, blonde, nervous woman who had the loudest screams ever. Half of the time she was screaming at me. Even though I was innocent. There was a song on the radio sometime around then, called Charlie Brown, he said in the song " why is everyone pickin' on me"? My good friend Sandy used to throw paper airplanes at Ms. Bauman when her back was turned. Immediately she would turn , yell at me, make me stay after class and write on the board 100 times," i will not throw things in class". Sandy was a good looking kid, great athlete, romeo, and charmed the teachers and everyone else. We hung around together , but somehow I always got into trouble,, one way or another.
One time we were playing with an old garden hose. He tells me put the hose to my ear and listen to him talk thru it. So I do, and I thought that was a cool echo sounding voice. He then tells me to say something to him. I put the hose to my mouth and get ready to say hello, and Sandy blows hard through the other end. The result was my getting a mouth full of spiders and dirt, and trench mouth. I was tricked, DANG!
Another time we were playing , throwing rocks. Wouldn't ya know it, sandy threw a rock and it cracked my head open. I had to get to the hospital for stitches. I got a "hole in the head". Anyway, 4th grade i had Miss Kessock, she was my favorite teacher of all time. She used to read to us. I remember her reading Mary Poppins and Pippi Long Stocking. I used to look at the shortest books, that mostly had horses or cowboys, like Cowboy Sam, the Black Stalliion, etc. Miss Kessock used to give us a choice of writing a book report or drawing a picture about the book. Did I mention I was the slowest reader ever, and i hated to read. However, I was a great artist. I used to take a book from the back of the room. Usually birds, reptiles, dinosaurs, were the titles and I would draw one. I always had a crowd of kids around me when i drew these pictures. I was really good at that. Also, being the class clown, Miss kessock actually liked my sense of humor. She was the best. But, not learning to read or not reading kind of effected my schooling later on , and hatred for term papers and reading assignments.
We normally went home for lunch. There were 4 of us in a contest of who ate the fastest. We used to run home, eat a sandwich and run back to school. All within a half hour. This guy David was usually the winner. I used to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich most days. i think David didnt eat and just lied to us. But who knew, I would shove that sandwich down my throat so fast, almost choke in order to win. i think i won once. Maybe David actually ate that day.
Lateness was a big problem for me. I was late for school everyday. I still have a lateness problem. It must be a disease, late-itis, and it is incurable. When I got to school , i had to wait on the lateline, then write my name and a report would go to the principal's office. In the 5th grade, I figured out the cure for my lateness. I became the lateline monitor. There was no more latelines. Since I was the monitor, and was the last to arrive, no one was ever late again. Including me. It was genius.
My teacher Mr. Rosansky used to walk around the room and firmly push his middle finger back with his thumb, and flick it hard at my head , after every wise crack I would make in class. He did that to all the clowns in the class. It was kind of fun to get popped in the head. It made you feel "special".
Me and a few of my classmates started the song writing society. Since we had to sing the Star Bangled Banner, My country Tis of Thee., etc we wrote our own words. 3 of us collaborated on the lyrics, and sang them loud in the auditorium during assembly . Also during practice in the classroom. Words such as the Star Strangled Banana, Jose can you see instead of oh say can you see. etc etc. good clean fun.
We also had a group named after a pickpocket on the TV show Yancy Derringer. The Jody Society. We used to walk around and pick pocket peoples things, usually it was pens. At the end of the day we showed how good we were, and emptied our pockets. Somedays I had 10 pens. I was such a good pickpocket. I made my mother proud. NOT!
6th Grade was Mr. Kerr, a good guy, there was also a real tall teacher, who had a TV show called Mr. Wizard. The guy was a Science whiz. My class clownmanship excelled in 6th grade. Mr Kerr even came to my house to brag to my parents what a clown I was. Well he didn't exactly brag. He wanted to know how to shut me up in class.
Roller skating was a big thing from kindergarten to 6th grade. We used to skate great. Wearing Union Hardware no. 9 skates. Big clamps, always had a skatekey, and wore it around my neck. The leather strap would get tucked in a cool way. The metal wheels against the concrete, would make a sound that let you know spring was here. Everyone would be skating. I could skate backwards, frontwards and pretty fast. I had a cool hockey stick, that said Rangers on it, and i taped it up really cool. We used to play roller hockey in the PS 273 park. We also played roller derby. I was even blood brothers with Sandy, Bernie, and Moony. We cut each others wrists with our pocket knives and held it together, vowing the blood brother oath. It was pretty cool , we thought back then. And I am still in touch with my blood bro Moony. Sandy, died in the 70s. Bernie I imagine is off in some far off land. He a very political 6th grader. Well those were the good ol' days.
Yep, I'm still late. I'm late right now for an appointment. OUCH!
Third grade was a nightmare, Miss Bauman was a short, blonde, nervous woman who had the loudest screams ever. Half of the time she was screaming at me. Even though I was innocent. There was a song on the radio sometime around then, called Charlie Brown, he said in the song " why is everyone pickin' on me"? My good friend Sandy used to throw paper airplanes at Ms. Bauman when her back was turned. Immediately she would turn , yell at me, make me stay after class and write on the board 100 times," i will not throw things in class". Sandy was a good looking kid, great athlete, romeo, and charmed the teachers and everyone else. We hung around together , but somehow I always got into trouble,, one way or another.
One time we were playing with an old garden hose. He tells me put the hose to my ear and listen to him talk thru it. So I do, and I thought that was a cool echo sounding voice. He then tells me to say something to him. I put the hose to my mouth and get ready to say hello, and Sandy blows hard through the other end. The result was my getting a mouth full of spiders and dirt, and trench mouth. I was tricked, DANG!
Another time we were playing , throwing rocks. Wouldn't ya know it, sandy threw a rock and it cracked my head open. I had to get to the hospital for stitches. I got a "hole in the head". Anyway, 4th grade i had Miss Kessock, she was my favorite teacher of all time. She used to read to us. I remember her reading Mary Poppins and Pippi Long Stocking. I used to look at the shortest books, that mostly had horses or cowboys, like Cowboy Sam, the Black Stalliion, etc. Miss Kessock used to give us a choice of writing a book report or drawing a picture about the book. Did I mention I was the slowest reader ever, and i hated to read. However, I was a great artist. I used to take a book from the back of the room. Usually birds, reptiles, dinosaurs, were the titles and I would draw one. I always had a crowd of kids around me when i drew these pictures. I was really good at that. Also, being the class clown, Miss kessock actually liked my sense of humor. She was the best. But, not learning to read or not reading kind of effected my schooling later on , and hatred for term papers and reading assignments.
We normally went home for lunch. There were 4 of us in a contest of who ate the fastest. We used to run home, eat a sandwich and run back to school. All within a half hour. This guy David was usually the winner. I used to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich most days. i think David didnt eat and just lied to us. But who knew, I would shove that sandwich down my throat so fast, almost choke in order to win. i think i won once. Maybe David actually ate that day.
Lateness was a big problem for me. I was late for school everyday. I still have a lateness problem. It must be a disease, late-itis, and it is incurable. When I got to school , i had to wait on the lateline, then write my name and a report would go to the principal's office. In the 5th grade, I figured out the cure for my lateness. I became the lateline monitor. There was no more latelines. Since I was the monitor, and was the last to arrive, no one was ever late again. Including me. It was genius.
My teacher Mr. Rosansky used to walk around the room and firmly push his middle finger back with his thumb, and flick it hard at my head , after every wise crack I would make in class. He did that to all the clowns in the class. It was kind of fun to get popped in the head. It made you feel "special".
Me and a few of my classmates started the song writing society. Since we had to sing the Star Bangled Banner, My country Tis of Thee., etc we wrote our own words. 3 of us collaborated on the lyrics, and sang them loud in the auditorium during assembly . Also during practice in the classroom. Words such as the Star Strangled Banana, Jose can you see instead of oh say can you see. etc etc. good clean fun.
We also had a group named after a pickpocket on the TV show Yancy Derringer. The Jody Society. We used to walk around and pick pocket peoples things, usually it was pens. At the end of the day we showed how good we were, and emptied our pockets. Somedays I had 10 pens. I was such a good pickpocket. I made my mother proud. NOT!
6th Grade was Mr. Kerr, a good guy, there was also a real tall teacher, who had a TV show called Mr. Wizard. The guy was a Science whiz. My class clownmanship excelled in 6th grade. Mr Kerr even came to my house to brag to my parents what a clown I was. Well he didn't exactly brag. He wanted to know how to shut me up in class.
Roller skating was a big thing from kindergarten to 6th grade. We used to skate great. Wearing Union Hardware no. 9 skates. Big clamps, always had a skatekey, and wore it around my neck. The leather strap would get tucked in a cool way. The metal wheels against the concrete, would make a sound that let you know spring was here. Everyone would be skating. I could skate backwards, frontwards and pretty fast. I had a cool hockey stick, that said Rangers on it, and i taped it up really cool. We used to play roller hockey in the PS 273 park. We also played roller derby. I was even blood brothers with Sandy, Bernie, and Moony. We cut each others wrists with our pocket knives and held it together, vowing the blood brother oath. It was pretty cool , we thought back then. And I am still in touch with my blood bro Moony. Sandy, died in the 70s. Bernie I imagine is off in some far off land. He a very political 6th grader. Well those were the good ol' days.
Yep, I'm still late. I'm late right now for an appointment. OUCH!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
health food
They say certain chocolate is good for you. The more cacao the better. I tasted a chocolate bar
that had 85% cacao. It was terrible. So now instead of eating 85% Cacao
I prefer 100% Ppig
that had 85% cacao. It was terrible. So now instead of eating 85% Cacao
I prefer 100% Ppig
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