things i hate

Things I hate:
I hate it when I go to grab a container of orange juice in the fridge and it is empty
I hate it when bugs get caught in a spider web and I don't understand why the spider doesn't get caught      in the web
I hate it when I go to my Friday appointment a day late
I hate it when the cleaners gives me back money in my pocket and I wonder how much was really left there
I hate it when I get food made from pork and it says kosher ( jello)
I hate it when I enjoy making sounds like  a wounded seal
I hate it when my farts can be heard by my neighbors
I hate it when my aunt has a longer beard than my uncle
I hate it when my aunt wants to give me a kiss
I hate it when I watch the pizza guy throwing the dough around, stop,  wipe his sweaty forehead and  start throwing the dough again
I hate it when waiters can't speak english and describe the dishes they are serving and i have no idea wtf they are talking about
I hate it when the weathermen are hyping a hurricane that won't really be much of anything
I hate it when I look at the  toilet paper after each wipe
I hate it when i start grossing myself out

Doctors

I have gone to doctors since I am a child. My experiences have not been the greatest.

In East New York as a kid, there were 3 or 4 doctors.  My original doctor I think was Ok, as i'm writing i'm remembering names of some. There was a  doctor Levin and  a Dr. Norton.  They would  come to our apartment in the projects.  Yeah, they made house calls.  They would do the   say Ahhh thing with the stick and then give me a  shot in the  butt of penicillin.  Imagine a doctor making a house call in East New York today. They  would  be  robbed or killed  most likely. 

     A few years later  our doctor changed to a  H.I.P. doctor .  His name was  Dr. Anolik. He was on Williams and New Lots.  The guy was huge , he had hands like an ape.  Mind you  I probably weighed 90 lbs when i saw him or less.  He would  tap your body with his giant hands and  say  does it  hurt. Each time he would tap me , i'd  gasp and almost  collapse , and  answer  "no it doesn't hurt".  It would end with a  shot in the butt.  They loved that  shot  stuff.  Another  time I went  there for an ear infection or earache.  The guy had a strange accent  , and  his instructions were "  put raps in your ears" ,,,,it took a while  to get  that interpreted, finally , I found out he was saying  "put DROPS in your ears".

      Later on , still in ENY,  Dr. Willins,  told me I was  allergic  to  penicillin.  Mind you, i was never allergic to penicillin, never had a reaction.  He came to this revelation because  i had hay fever, therefore  , i must be allergic to penicillin.  So , since then , as illogical  as it was, I have told every doctor that I went to , that I was allergic to penicillin.  Dr. Willins also told me , when I had mono aka mononucleosis aka  kissing disease, that  I needed to eat  meat.  I was a vegetarian at the time. I knew  soy and  nuts gave me  enough protein ,,but he insisted that  I needed to eat meat.  So  I ate meat, and eventually i was better. 

     There were two dentists in East New York , the Newman Bros.,  one was an orthodontist and the other was  a regular dentist.  They were the best dentists in the  neighborhood. They were on Hegeman Ave and Pennsylvania Ave.  Their office had these weird pictures of  kids, later i found out they were Norman Rockwells.   I had braces,  and i had to wear  rubber bands stretched between  upper and lower teeth. I hated these braces,,I ended up ripping them out of my mouth.  Rumor had it, that these dentists, weren't really dentists and  had some  fake  diplomas from Univ. of Tennessee.  I don't know if the rumor was true but they were really nice guys and they looked like  dentists.

       Bringing things up to the present,  I saw one doctor of mine scalping  Rolling Stone tickets  outside the Meadowlands a few years back.. Makes you worry a bit.  And  just last week I went to the eye doctor for  a thing like  a sty ,,, he  asked me  if i had a microwave.  I lied and said  yes.  So he gave me a prescription for  potatoes.  Not just any potato but  a  red new round potato,, he wrote , put in microwave,  wrap in  hot cloth and put on your eye. Imagine,  the guy prescribed a  potato.  Gotta love doctors.