Hi All, I haven't been here in a few months.
Anyway,
The other day I went to the cemetery to visit my dead relatives. I figured it might bring some good luck. The cemetery is an old one in Queens. Some of the tombstones have cool old pictures on them.
Rather than ask where my people were buried , I wandered around until I found some. I can't believe I actually found most of the graves I was looking for. In my Jewish tradition, you're supposed to put rocks on the graves,to show you were there. I have no idea of how this tradition came about , but I will say there is a scarcity of rocks in the cemetery. They should have a vending machine for rocks.
I noticed one tombstone with about 30 rocks on it. I was thinking that was very greedy of them, but probably it was little kids, playing "steal the rocks from other graves". So I figured if I stole some rocks from them, it wouldn't be a sin or anything. So I stole several rocks. I hope it wasn't a sin, because I was about to commit another sin. I had to pee. So I found a secluded spot behind some graves, and peed the longest pee ever. Oh boy, two sins. Then a giant rat ran by.
Meanwhile, the sun was going down it was the day before Halloween. I was still searching for my grandparents graves. They were in an area , where everyone buried was from Volochisk, Ukraine(Russia). I finally gave up because it was almost dark. Some rabbi looking guy waved me down, to give an old lady a ride to the grave of a famous rabbi. The roads are quite narrow in the cemetery . I think i hit two graves or a pole and a grave. Anyway, it was weird picking up a stranger in a cemetery. I dropped her off and headed for the front gate. Just my luck, it was locked. I wait for a while and then start to drive around looking for someone to let me out. The office was closed. I didn't see anyone. So I go back to the gate, it's dark and scary. Scary thoughts going through my mind . Ghosts and goblins. Crazy stuff. Then someone taps on my window and scares the daylights out of me. It was the security guard. He was wearing an NYPD hat , to look official. He started yelling at me. "what are you doing in here?" . I was pissed off that he was yelling at me and I told him if he kept yelling he would end up in here permanently. That didn't help my cause to get out. The argument went on, and he points to a sign that said "cemetery closes at 4:30". He asked me if i could read. Finally he opened the gate and let me out. Very crazy experience.
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Tonite after dinner, while walking to my car, a gentleman stopped me and asked "where can I get some ice cream around here?". The man had an Italian accent and confirmed that he was from Italy. I had just returned from Italy and they have the best gelato there. So, I figured this guy knows his ice cream. So I gave him directions to a good gelato place a few blocks away. He says" it's good ice cream" I say, " yes it is gelato". He puts on a sad face. He says, in his thick Italian accent " I no wanna gelato, I want ice-a cream". " You know , Ben and Jerry". Oh my goodness. The guy comes from a place with the best ice-cream/gelato ever, and he wants Ben and jerry.. I was thinking the next person will approach me and want some pastries. I'll direct them to Veniero's for good italian pastry and they'll say "no no I want Hostess twinkles".
And that's what makes the world go 'round.
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