funeral flowers and rocks 1 and 2

1) I went to a friend's father's funeral, at a church in Staten Island. I got there a little late, which is not unusual for me.  I stopped to  buy some flowers on the way. The  mass already started. There was a big  picture of my friend's father  facing the people attending the service, a 2 flower arrangements. I guess all the flowers people send, were in the limos that will go to the cemetery  following the service.  So, what to do?  I'm late, I have flowers, it would be improper to bring the  flowers in. After all, no one  brought flowers, and they were in the middle of the service, so I left a pot of flowers in the lobby. After the service as everyone is leaving, I picked up the flowers I brought and  began walking out.  I spoke to a few people, while holding my flowers.  I could notice people looking at me, like  "hey, he's stealing the flowers".  This happened to  have followed  a similar "curb your enthusiasm" show where Larry actually stole flowers from a  memorial area.  So to  try to clear up the situation, I told my friend's wife, what happened and gave her the flowers, so t hey wouldn't go to waste.  She appreciated the thought. All in all, it was  an embarrassing but funny situation.

2) I go to a Jewish cemetery to pay my respects.  Jewish people  make their visit known by leaving a rock on top of the grave.  Rumor has it, that if flowers are left, they are stolen, so , rocks are left instead. The big problem is there aren't any decent size rocks available.  No one has  thought of the idea of selling rocks at  Jewish cemeteries.  Ahhh, my  next brilliant idea for a business !  Designer Rocks for graves. Anyway,  I had of relatives in this cemetery, even my great grandmother. I had no rocks.  So , I did what any rockless grave visitor would do, I stole them off the adjacent graves.  The  first visit went well, I put a  nice rock on my uncle's grave.  However, the third grave rock placement, I was  spotted by  some people as  I  lifted the rock, off the top of the  tombstone.  So I casually dusted it off and put it back. Then they stopped looking at me and  I walked off fast grabbing a  nice rock and  got the job done. It's so crazy having to steal rocks at the cemetery. It's crazier that people  give you dirty looks  for  robbing rocks.  Next time I'll bring rocks with me.