NYC SUBWAY

I decided not to drive to the motor vehicle bureau and take a subway. I normally drive everywhere. I even drive to the dry cleaners across the street. Oh , the dry cleaners, that'a a whole 'nuther story. Those people are always losing my clothes. One day I know I'll see a Korean guy wearing my pants, shirt, and  coat, I just know it.  Anyway, back to the subway. So, I decide to take the subway downtown, its only a few stops. I hadn't been on a subway in years.  Not to digress, but I used to take the New Lots train as a kid. New Lots Ave was the last stop, i had a choice of the stop before that , which was Van Siclen Ave, but so often I fell asleep and had to get off at New Lots Ave. The conductor would make an announcement, last stop New Lots Avenue,but I was a sound sleeper , and woke up in the yard. Scarey, Yes. But the good news was after a while the train would  turn around and make its first stop , again, at New Lots Ave. I do miss that sound of the train, screeching around  the turn at Saratoga Ave right before it approaced the tunnel, where Utica Ave was the first underground stop. I missed ducking down at Rockaway Ave because kids would throw rocks at the train windows between Rockaway and Junius St.  If we were going to Yankee Stadium we would change for the  express train at Utica or Nevins St. Anyway, I am a long time subway patron, but for some reason, I just stopped taking the subway back in the 80s. Anyway, where was i?   Oh yeah , one day not so long ago, I decided to once again venture onto the subway and go to the DMV to fight a traffic ticket.  So I go down the steps to the subway at Franklin St., I  go the clerk's booth and ask for  two tokens,very confidently, mind you, to show i was a "regular".  Well, the "token clerk" said  , umm Sir, we don't have tokens.  I said, umm Sir, then what do you do all day.  He said we have Metro Cards, and pointed to some machine. Needless to say I was at a loss for words and confused as to how to work this Metro Card Machine. So, of course I had to go back to the guy, who hates me now, and ask for help with the Metro Card machine.  OK, now I have a Metro Card,  unbelievable, fares used to be 15cents, oh well.   He explains to swipe it and  push the rotating gate. I slide it and push.  It doesn't move. I slide it and push , it doesnt move , I slide it and push , again it doesnt move and a fellow subway traveler says to me, "it looks like you used up your card" ,,, Oh great! now i have to go back to the "token clerk",  I go back , head down, and humbly say, "something went worng and the card doesnt work, I may have used it up trying". He shakes his head and gives me a pass for my return trip and instructs me to push the door when he buzzes, then go to the other side and take the train a few stops to Rector St. or something like that.  I followed the instructions very  well, like someone with a Master's Degree should be able to. A few hours later after a frustrating time at the Motor Vehicle Bureau, I decide I dont want to hassle using the free pass to the train , and  i'll  enjoy a leisurely walk home.  I get home and put my Subway Pass  on the table and go out for dinner. When I return, my daughter says " Dad, where in the world did you get a "Retarded Kid Pass" for the Subway".  Oh boy, now I have to go through this whole embarrassing story.  So I said a retarded kid gave it to me.